So, I'm back in the Tong. And I really DON'T want to be here right now.
Having seen my home, and now returned here, I feel so deeply all that I have given up to be here. And the lack of work CONTINUES. I have set myself the goal of getting it sorted by the end of the month. If, in fact, there is no work for me, or if I am expected to wait an inordinately long time in the expectation of work, I am going to pack myself up and go home.
Perhaps I'll feel different next week, when the immediacy of my home environment has faded into the tropical humidity. But I doubt it. After all, my main reason in coming here was for the work. All the other perks, of volunteering, of living and working overseas, they are not enough on their own, there has to be a function and a purpose for me being here.
My boss - the primary instigator of all the tasks I have accomplished since my arrival - has been sacked, so the future really is uncertain. There is no point in me staying here if there is nothing for me to do. If, on the other hand, there IS something for me to do, then I'll accept that I need to stay longer, and be away from my lover and my home, much as it's paining me right now.
I did sign up for 12 months, I knew there were going to be challenges, etc etc, yes yes I know! And I have invoked the Power of the ICM to assist me, so I am doing all I can to push on.
Though the way I feel right now, I'd almost prefer the no-work-and-go-home option.
Sigh.
3 comments:
that's shit dude! it seems a bit of a common thread with the program though, i've met a few AYAD's who have very little to do! bummer.
Guess it doesn't help when home is so close and so appealing.
this does sound like a common theme. many of ours seem disatisfied - but I don't think anyone's suggersted that yet. Good to see that you'll stick it out if you can find the work and I agree there's no point if you aren't achieving anything.
Did you hear Andrtea in Jakarta was evacuated and is recovering from sickness in Melbs? She doesn't know if she'll be able to go back, but sounds like her assignment was drying up anyway...
Maybe AusAID would be better off sponsoring Austraian businesses to go to these countries and do assignments rather than getting ICM's to find obscure projects that may or may not suit them financially (just saying...)
Yeah, I will have very definite feedback about the program come debrief time, that's for sure!
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