Thursday, June 04, 2009

Same shape, different fit...

Returning to a past life is not something I am used to doing. All my previous adventures - travelling around Oz, going to Europe, even both times I've finished uni - I always move on to the next adventure, whether that be a new city, a new job, another journey. It's always been a new phase, represented by a new situation and circumstances.

So coming back to the life I left behind is a whole new realm of experience for me. And it's weird, because even though the gap I left in this life looks like me, it doesn't feel like me in some really small and subtle ways. So subtle, in fact, that I'm struggling to put my finger on HOW it feels different.

And trying to express all this to my partner - my husband - is the first time that I've felt like we're not on the same page. He's trying to get me, but I don't think it's something you can "get" if you haven't experienced it yourself. Not that it's a massive issue, but it is an issue nonetheless.

I hadn't anticipated re-settlement being quite! I guess I never really gave it any thought at all, had no pre-conceived notions about what it would be like. If I ever thought about it all it would have been in the context of longing, and my imagined relief at being home (obviously visualised when times were tough!).

Not that I'm complaining, I hasten to add! And I'm sure once I hit gainful employment I'll have far less time for such navel-gazing - so bring forth the Dream Job!