Mortality

Dad and I at my cousin's wedding, August 2011

Lately it seems I cry on more days than not. Late last year I found out my father has a terminal form of cancer. He'd been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago, but that seemed to have been dealt with. Unfortunately it has spread through his skeletal system, and it's now a matter of we-don't-know-how-long, but probably months that he has left to live.

I can't tell you how gutting news like this is. Is anone ever ready to lose a parent? Probably not, but it still seems that a man aged 61 is too young to die. Nevertheless, everyday life goes on, and you learn to put knowledge like this aside, somewhere that you can take it out and grieve over it in private, without interference to your work, your recreation, your relationships.

But it does leak out of you, and that's why there's more days where I cry than days when I don't. It doesn't take much to set me off. A motorcyclist on the road; an email or phone call from my dad; a photo. It's a knowledge that sits heavily inside me and permeates all my quiet moments.

There are lots of reasons to wish not to be an only child, and most of them become apparent as you reach adulthood. I've found another one - the grief of a dying parent should be shared between siblings. There is no-one to share this commonality of experience with me. I know others who have lost a parent, but in this particular circumstance I am alone. I am the only child who is losing this man as my father. And it feels awful.

Dad aged 33, the same age I am now

Scary - me??

I got told the other night by a new acquaintance, who also works in the same industry as me over here in WA, that I was "quite scary, professionally." Really??

I know I have a strong personality, but I don't think I am scary professionally, so much as this town lacks qualified and experienced heritage professionals. I am working at a world heritage-listed site, and I am the only person on the staff who has any sort of relevant training.

Don't get me wrong - I don't believe the bit of paper is the be-all and end-all (even though I know I am eventually going to have to do a PhD if I ever want to return to the eastern states in any kind of well-paid capacity). One of the best curators I know only has an honours-level degree (though yes, she is working towards a PhD). It's more that dealing with heritage requires a certain way of thinking, which if it's not instilled into you at Uni then should be instilled into you from working in the industry. And it does seem to be somewhat lacking as a whole over here.

The main powerbrokers in the industry over here are the National Trust and the Royal Historical Society. These organisations have all been eclipsed in the eastern states as thinking about heritage becomes more progressive, and even some cutting edge government organisations have lead the way at times (I'm thinking of the Historic Houses Trust of NSW, as funded under the Carr government). There is simply nothing like that over here, and aparently the main cultural heritage management/museum studies tertairy course has just been axed, which will only compound the problem.

What is it about Western Australia that makes it so different? One thing I have noticed is that it is a wealthy state, but that wealth is in the hands of a few, and doesn't translate to well-funded arts or heritage programs at all. It's a state obsessed with the present - to think of the past (or even the future!) is anathema to the ethos of immediacy that seems to stem from the mining industry. Thus heritage is in the hands of old-fashioned organisations like the National Trust, and heritage interpretation is unable to move forward.

So getting back to being called 'scary' - my conclusion is that it's not me, WA, it's you!

This time last year....

This time last year, if I'd imagined where I'd be in 12 months, I daresay it would have caused a little flutter of disappointment and the thought 'more of the same'.

If someone had told me this time last year that in 12 months I'd be living in Fremantle, have a permanent job at a World Heritage Site, and have bought a house, I probably would have laughed (but inwardly cheered, and gone 'yippee!'). I could never have imagined the last 12 months, but by god I'm glad they happened!

I can't help myself - I love variety and I love change. Those two years at the NMA working on Landmarks, while good years, were indistinguishable one from the other. How horrifying! 2010 was, in fact, the first time I started the year doing the same job I ended it on. Ever.

I like to think that I am treading a path where variety and suprise and an ever-changing journey are being balanced by moving forwards, and still achieving something worthwhile and concrete. The idea of 'settling down' in one place terrifies me. I can't imagine it. But I'm happy to spend enough time somewhere to get to know it, to love it, but then also to leave it. I don't know where my final home will be. I suspect I might never have one. It's enough to settle down for a while, to experience something new, to learn about myself and my surroundings, and then to move on.

Home is important, don't get me wrong, but there is nowhere I've come across that feels like a forever home. Not yet, anyway. Instead it's a place in my heart with my husband, and wherever we go, together, it feels like home. I do need the solid home base - there's no way I could couch-surf while trying to hold down a full-time job, or live out of a suitcase while trying to live 9-5. I need the stability of a good home, but I know I'll always end up leaving.

Such an inability to commit to settling down seems odd from someone who grew up in the one house until moving out at 18; went to the same primary school, and only 2 high schools (and that's coz they kicked me out of the first one!). I'm like some weird hybrid of a nomad and a settler. But it helps to keep life interesting. And in that spirit, I wish you all a wonderful new year, and many blessings for 2012. Who knows where we'll all be in 12 months time hey!

Phwoar!

Wow, the landscape changed dramatically last week, when my boss announced on Monday that she was resigning, effective Friday. Phwoar!

This was good news to me for several reasons, but the one that I am going to focus on from now is about the future. I hope the past will stay put behind me, and not rear its ugly head. Perth is a small town, apparently too small to go around making enemies, but I think my boss and I pretty much burned all our bridges this last week of our working relationship. Never mind, like I said, from now on it's all about the future!

I get to act in the position of Curator until they recruit for it, and as they need to sort some other stuff out first that will more than likely be between 4-6 months. I'm banking on 4, and going to direct my energies to achieving at least one major goal in that time, as well as hopefully kicking several small ones as well. If I get extra time then it's a bonus.

I'm under no illusion that the job will be handed to me in recruitment, but nor will I shy away from applying for it. I hope to be a strong contender for the role, but whatever happens, these next few months are a fabulous opportunity to sink my teeth into some really satisfying work. The chance to punch above my weight would never have been forthcoming had I stayed in Canberra - there you work above your level but never get a chance to do it officially, not unless you've jumped some serious hoops or somebody dies to make room up the top. This is an amazing opportunity.

Things seem to be falling into place for me right now with almost miraculous synchronicity. I'm intrigued by how it will play out in the new year!

PS I also passed Level 4 with PRD, which seemed to be the equivalent of CRDL's Orange Star testing, and that means I can bout with the league in the new year. Huzzah!

Power to the (derby) people

Team Australia is currently in Toronto, Canada, kicking arse at the Roller Derby World Cup. Every time my husband rings me I excitedly tell him what team those amazing ladies have trounced now - and anyone who knows me, knows that I'm the last person to be giving score updates, for any sport (ok, except derby!). So far they have beaten Germany, Finland, and Scotland, and are seeded 4th. I think they will finish up in the Top 3 for sure.

The team features not one but FOUR skaters from Canberra Roller Derby League (CRDL), which was my home league until I moved over here. Makes me realise what a great group of women I learned to skate under. They are hard-working, dedicated, and most of all FUN to skate with. I have realised that not all leagues are like this.

In WA there are two Leagues based in Perth, and they both struggle for numbers. It makes it hard to field competitive players if you struggle just to put together a home team. Being so far away makes a huge difference too. These girls are taught to skate by non-derby people, particularly men. I have skated with both PRD and WARD, and been in sessions taken by boys that have no idea what they're talking about - a speed skater advising us all to kick up our legs (low block, anyone?), or the artistic skater who stands straight-legged and yells at us all to "Get in derby stance, NOW!". I don't get it. The only boy who ever took a session when I skated with CRDL was Ref Fink, and let's face it he's amazing! He also skates derby (or merby, as it's known!) and knows his shit.

I feel resentful that I have to take orders from people who don't know derby, and feel that surely we're not THAT desperate over here? Maybe these people have something to offer, sure, but for one session max - not continuously. What about skills within the League? Are there any jam skaters or speed skaters or bladers in there? Who knows. All I can say after seeing the standard of PRD, which formed around the same time as CRDL, is that isolation does make a huge difference in skill level.

Also the ethos is different, but that's to be expected. People over here don't want to train more than twice a week - fair enough, I'm pretty sure that there were some girls at CRDL who didn't want to train 3 times a week. But if you want that spot on the team when they roll out onto the track you do whatever it takes to get there. You strive to improve.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not slagging off the WA skaters, I'm just saying that it is different. I'm sure joining any league would have been different. But CRDL fielding 4 skaters in a team of 20, playing at international level, gives you some indication of the skill level I have been used to (please don't mistake me - there's no way I'm saying that I'M at that skill level - ha ha! No way!). I certainly feel very lucky to have learned from these skaters, who can now honestly claim to be some of the best in the world. And I feel a little sad about what I have lost coming over here.

But you know what, today it was 36 degrees and I went to the beach and had a swim in that gorgeous blue-green Indian Ocean, and I remembered why I wanted to move here all those months ago!

Conference Papers

This evening I was on the train heading home with a former colleague from the NMA, and we were talking about the conference we'd spent all week at. It was the Museums Australia 2011 conference, and there had been a whole variety of papers given. I was telling my friend about how I found the papers that were all about "This is what I did, this is what worked for me, this is what didn't" rather boring, and irrelevant. My preference was for papers that either made me think philosophically, or that linked back to something I found useful - like, "This is what I did, this is what worked, this is how YOU Can do something similar".

There was a guy sitting across from us on the train who decided to butt into our conversation, and told me that I was being selfish and intellectually lazy by expecting that from other papers. I couldn't really get much of the gist of his argument, because the train noise overrode most of what he was saying, but I found him to be a bit rude and arrogant, not least of all for butting into our conversation in the first place! I actually was quite reasonable towards him, explained my thoughts, he argued with me, and then I said that we were all entitled to our own opinion, at which point he seemed to take offense and chose to withdraw from the dialogue. Fine. I continued my conversation and the rest of the train journey was uneventful.

Mind you now I'm fuming. He has left me with a bad taste in my head, so rather than stewing about it I am going to try and articulate what it is that, for me, makes a good conference paper.

First and foremost, it has to be thought-provoking. I go to conferences and choose the sessions I go to based on the subject matter. I want to expose myself to material that I can engage with, and apply to my own practise. Now, that doesn't mean I'm looking for a "How-to", what I want is something that makes me think. It could be philosophical, it could be practical, but either way I think a good conference paper can be applicable even if it's because it gets your brain muscle working, or it makes you question previoulsy held assumptions, or it seems like a really great idea and you'd like to apply some part of it to your own situation.

Secondly, the presentation has to be good. Just reading off a piece of paper in a rapid-fire manner is awful, as is the sleep-inducing monotone. Equally bad are those who are completely unaware of time, and at the 5-minute warning attempt to cram in the remaining three-quarters of their paper.

A good presenter is familiar with their material, has a strong argument, makes eye contact, and speaks in a clear voice. A great presenter can do all that, and without the need of notes - those are rare but wonderful, allowing you a full engagement with the content.

Even papers that might simply be a recounting of a project can be worthwhile, if they make you think about the bigger picture. For example, one of the papers I saw was about establishing a tourist trail for the Tin Horse Highway in the rural town of Kulin, WA. Though it was largely the Interpretation Officer recounting the history of the sculptures and the Shire's plans for the project, it was interesting because of the story it told about community, the challenges of inetrpreting something in order to attract tourists, and also the issues of conserving the objects. Though not directly relevant to my own work, it still made me think. In that respect, to me it was a successful paper.

A less successful paper was one I saw yesterday, and you know what, I can't even remember what it was about! I could go to my Program and look it up, but I figure if I can't remember the content the next day it's probably not worth remembering! It's quite possible that the main problem was the monotone adopted by the speaker, a droning hum that made me want to go to sleep. Snore! Another less successful paper was one that talked about a now-non-existant display at the NMA from 10 yeasr ago - yes, the one that excited all the controversy at opening. But it's been 10 years - can we not get over it? That was the general gist of feeling among the NMA curators present, and I agreed with them.

As for my paper, well, it was a bit controversial really. At least, I thought it was - I was comparing Phar Lap's remains to saint relics. The session was chaired by a Benedictine monk - awkward! Unfortunately, rather than generating debate in the question time, all I got was testimonies - about how popular his heart and hide were, about how someone had been on holidays and gone out of their way to see him and what a wonderful experience that had been. So they just kind of proved my point. And maybe my paper wasn't successful either, because it didn't make people think - though I had some more interesting one-on-one feedback from audience members throughout the day, which makes me think maybe it wasn't unsuccessful after all.

But yes, as for my friend on the train - I wish I had been able to articulate to him that going to a conference is not about being an intellectually lazy receptacle, but about being stimulated, whether it's by pure ideas or useful application, or a combination of both. It's about engaging in the content of your industry, and coming away inspired and ready to take up arms again with a renewed enthusiasm. Either that or I wish I'd just told him to butt out and mind his own business!

Really real estate!

Above: The photo of the south-facing front from the listing on realestate.com.au

Wow, it looks like Clinton and I have entered the property market at last!

Our offer on a property has been accepted, and we are now under contract - conditional financial approval has been given, and now it's just the fiddly stuff. I'm trying not to think on it too much, as I know things can still go wrong and it's not a done deal yet - though obviously I'm comfortable enough to put it on the internet for everyone to see, ahem!

The house needs quite a bit of cosmetic work, but it's structurally sound. It's ex-Dept of Housing, and the previous tenants look like they left in a huff - there are some holes kicked and punched into walls, and in one area it looks kind of like someone brought a wet muddy dog into the house and it shook itself all over the walls! But this can all be easily fixed. I am looking forward to it. And yes, everyone who sees the photos thinks it looks just like out Ainslie house!

Above: Lovely original 1950s kitchen, with an east-facing window. Under all that linoleum are jarrah floorboards!

I woke up yesterday having a minor freak-out, thinking that perhaps entering into a massive mortgage when my husband doesn't even have a job in this state yet might be a crazy and ridiculous thing to do. My flatmate pointed out that she's said that to me a couple of times. I was like, "Really?" Clearly I only listen to what I want to hear!

But after speaking with Clinton I realised that it would be ok, and this was probably just a last-minute flutter of nerves. I mean, it's not like I didn't recognise the situation beforehand, I just never recognised it as an ISSUE, if you know what I mean.

Above: the overgrown north-facing backyard (though this photo is taken facing south, towards the house). It is a 749m2 block, with plenty of room for the dog and chickens. Also, the Local Govt have the most relaxed chicken laws of any LGA in the Fremantle area - I checked before I came over! This may well be the world's most expensive chicken house!

Overall I feel super-pumped about this new chapter in our lives. I think C is feeling positive too, though it will all only come together properly when he gets a job and moves over here.

Last time we moved house (into the Ainslie place) he said to me, "Let's never move house again." Well, we may never be able to realistically say that, but at least this time we'll be moving into our very own HOME!