It's been two years to the day since my Dad died.
Despite intentions to make the day one of celebration I find myself feeling very much as I was at this time on that day two years ago - washed out, tired, numb. Because he passed away in the early hours (2:30am), and I didn't sleep again until the following night, by the time it was 4:30 in the afternoon I was almost delirious with exhaustion and grief.
I was with family though, and that made it better. There was comfort in being with others who had loved and lost this man. I was with the same people on the first anniversary of his death, when we scattered the ashes of him and his wife in the paddocks of their former home.
This year, I am alone, with no-one who really knew my Dad around. So I thought I'd buy myself a really nice bottle of wine, and drink to his memory. I'm sure he would have approved.
Though I am getting used to the world without him in it, I do still miss him.