It has been over 3 months since I last went to work. That's a quarter of a year! But it sure doesn't feel that long ago. A couple of weekends ago I went to visit a heritage site where I had an upcoming job interview, and when I walked into the property the heritage smell hit me, and I felt physically sick. Soon after I had been contacted to schedule that interview, my eye began twitching, and in the mornings I'd wake up with a sore jaw from having clenched it in my sleep. It was pretty telling to have such a physical reaction. I know I'll deal with it eventually, especially when I start working again and (hopefully) replace bad memories with good.
It's been 10 weeks since I moved back to Canberra, and I really am loving it. This is the third time I've moved to Canberra. The first time I enjoyed being here, in a superficial sort of way. Then I went to Tonga, and on returning I felt really disillusioned about the place. The city was so radically different to what I'd seen in the Pacific - in terms of priorities, climate, attitude. Tonga opened my eyes to aspects of my own culture, and in so many ways Canberra did not compare favorably to a tropical island paradise! Now, third time lucky, I feel like I am in a much better place to appreciate all that Canberra has to offer.
I feel lucky. Every morning I wake up, and I no longer dread the day ahead. Don't get me wrong, I am glad to have had the Westralian experience, and I don't regret going over there even though it was a very difficult time from start to finish. I'm glad both that I gave it a chance, and that we called it quits when we did.
The whole experience is quite a complex one to process. As time passes I'm sure I'll be able to find more positives in it, but I am very glad to be closing out the year on the east coast. I joke that the whole point of spending two years in Perth was just to make me appreciate what I have here so much more, but that's actually not far from the truth.
It's a relief to have the sense that "It's all good!" once more.