I've spent all day reading Bonnie D. Stroir's blog and it has a common theme with other derby blogs I've come across, and that is a complete and unadulterated love for derby. And I just don't feel that. I mean yeah, it's great fun, and I really enjoy it - but it hasn't changed my life the way it seems to have changed the lives of others.
Maybe I'm just a derby dabbler, or maybe I'll never put all my eggs into one basket like that. In fact, sometimes I resent having to spend so much of my life at training, or being involved in the work of making derby happen, but I keep doing it because ultimately it's fun. But it's not the Most.Fun.Thing.I've.Eva.Done. Is that bad? Should I love derby more?
My team captain has a pretty good attitude. Derby is just one thing in her life, certainly not The Only Thing That Matters. She's mentioned that she has a lower threshold than others seem to about putting derby ahead of other things in their lives. I mean, she loves it, and she's on our rep team as well as being our Captain. It just seems her attitude is a bit - healthier? Less obsessed? Less sucked into The Cult of Roller Derby ? Not sure.
When I went to Tonga with all the young idealistic volunteers I heard a lot of people saying they'd been waiting their whole lives for this, that it was gonna be life-changing and they just needed it at that point in their life so much. I couldn't really identify with that, either. Maybe it's the cynic in me.
I just found out that the Perth Derby league is located a whopping 2 hours by public transport away from where I'll be living and working (sans car) in Freo. I'm really not sure that my committment level is that great, to be honest. I mean, that means getting home after 11pm from a training session, and that's IF all the connections are spot-on. At the moment that just seems too much of a commute for me to contemplate. I'm wondering if moving west might be the end of my derby journey. I know I'm a fickle mistress, and my enthusiasm has waxed and waned on this blog. I always thought of roller derby as being for a good time not a long time, so we'll see...