Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Love as an AYAD

So the day finally arrived – the day my partner Clinton flew in to Tonga to visit me for two blissful weeks. After 109 days apart (which is a really long time!) we finally got to see each other for real and not just on Skype. Tonga is a very Christian country, and public displays of affection between couples is considered inappropriate. Before going out to the airport I spent some time musing upon whether or not I was game to hug Clinton, but as soon as he walked out the doors after clearing Customs all caution went out the window and I threw myself upon him – literally. I think I nearly knocked the poor boy over!

Arriving at the airport - he was the first one out through Customs, and I didn't hold back!

It was really great rediscovering how much we enjoy each other’s company. It’s alright talking on the phone, even daily, but it’s not the person’s actual COMPANY that you’re getting. It’s not sitting on the porch talking and eating biscuits while he fixes your bike, or giving all the local roosters characters based on their crowing, or having someone by your side as you fall asleep. To put it bluntly, talking on the phone and seeing each other on Skype is a pale imitation of a relationship.
Relaxing in the garden at Taina's on 'Eua
Not that I think it’s been detrimental to us as a couple at all, but it’s HARD – now that I’ve remembered how great life together is I feel sad contemplating another 8 months of this shadow-love. But I – we – will get through it.

At the Rock Garden at the southern tip of 'Eua
In our 2 weeks here we saw and did a lot. As well as exploring the mainland a little and showing Clinton all the usual AYAD hang-outs, we also spent 5 days in ‘Eua (an island to the south-east of Tongatapu), hiking and talking and eating, which was magnificent. We capped this off with 2 nights at the deluxe Fafa Island Resort, which was perfect and luxurious (and let’s face it, so not Tonga!)
Relaxing on a double hammock on Fafa Island
I really love sharing things with Clinton. It’s like whenever we’re together life is a holiday, regardless of where we happen to be – “lost” on a muddy dirt track or watching the sunset from a 5-star resort in tropical paradise. It’s the man, not the moment. Thinking about sharing our everyday lives together “back home” seems almost too good to have been true. And now that our time together is over, I am faced with Skype and phone calls once again.

Oh well, only 6 weeks until Christmas!


Dash said...

OMG! Dude, you totally rock for writing thios post. 9 days till i fly home - 10 days till i see my girl. YAY! BHut alas, it's only for a week.

Sarvenaz said...

Dear Isa,
As always your writing is so consise and beautiful, it flows so nicely, I hope everything in Tonga improves for you, and the time that needs to go by, goes by sooner so that you and Clinton can be together.

Keep writing you are amazing.
Lots of Love Sarvenaz

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Anonymous said...

Interesting ..because I am in a similar relationship, trying to convince a lady that we can be in love.She likes me but maybe somehow the concept of online love and LDR makes her jittery..I already met her in her country.She still hesitating..i dunno wats gonna happen but your blog gives me some positive feeling..thanks.