Yesterday evening, as I was driving to derby training, I felt a strange and unusual feeling come across me. I felt... happy. And hopeful.
I was actually looking forward to derby training (it's been ages since I've felt that way - even though I mostly enjoyed training once I was there I usually spent most of the day not feeling like going), and, even more shocking, I felt hopeful about my future at my job.
It felt weird. And I was scared to let myself feel it, coz what if everything turns to shit and I go back to being unhappy again?
I guess if that happens then it's good to have had this period of hope. Better to anticipate good things and occasionally be disapointed than to anticipate bad things, and, even if they never show up, feel scared of hope for the rest of my life!